Confusing Musings on S.E.X.

I usually want to describe in detail all the sex I’ve had so that I can relish in it and therefore not be desperate to have it, when I’m not having it. I’m suffering. I don’t know if I want to become celibate and all that but I’m wondering if it could be distracting towards my future once I go to school. Sure, I feel that I’ve matured but what happens when I’m in a relationship again and I’m mad horny but I’m afraid of the consequences of having sex? Not the whole becoming pregnant or getting an STD (which are good reasons for never having sex again) but for the mental capacity here.
When I was having sex on a regular basis (meaning all the time and everywhere) all I could think about was when I was going to have sex again, where it was going to happen and why it wasn’t happening at that exact moment in time. Does that sound addictive? It was. Even when I was having sex, I would think about how I didn’t want to ever stop having sex. But I guess it doesn’t matter because I think about sex all the time right now and when I’ll have it again. However, when I look at number four on my list and realize that I am sexually starved at this moment, it screws up my whole perspective on what’s right and what’s wrong and everything in between. These are what my thoughts look like right now:

*Braid pulling/hair pulling
* “Are you runnin from me? You better not be, girl!” SPANK
* “Daddy!”
– “I’m your daddy now, girl” (That sill kinda freaked me out when he said that)
* “You are just so pretty. Look at you!”
* “I’m gonna marry your lil ass…you’re mine.”
* I put that grown man to bed
* Baseball parks, car garages and that hotel room

See, I can’t even think straight. I suppose sex does make some things more complicated then they need to be. I did some stupid shit and I don’t know if it was for the love (which always sounds like a good excuse at the time) or for the dick (which sounds like a completely slutty, whorish excuse for stupidity) or for the silent revenge against the dude who sometimes makes me regret giving my v-card to him. I guess it was a combination of all three if I’m being reasonable. I’m getting off track. The main thing that I’m trying to say is; to have sex or not to have sex? (when it’s right there?) I’m pondering this situation. A resolution should cometh my way soon.