The Little Freak

I really don’t want my cyber expression to just be about sex but as of now it’s the only interesting thing that comes into my head. I have an idea however. Until I begin fucking again on a constant basis, I’m going to do what I said I should and chronicle my adventures in intimacy so that I can be fed sexually on a mental level.

Some background information about me: I believe that I’m a nympho. I started masturbating before I even knew what masturbation was and when I discovered how to climax at an age where I should have been playing with Barbies, I became addicted. I would watch Real Sex episodes late at night on HBO when my mother would go to work at the post office and my grandma was out at the casino. I didn’t understand what the hell they were talking about (i.e. orgasms, clitoris, and 69) but it didn’t matter. I was fascinated by the naked people on the screen who seemed like me because they played with themselves too.

When I was in pre-school, I had my first kiss with a little Mexican boy who held my hand and touched me down ‘there.’ We would hide by the bathrooms and sloppily kiss, pulling back after three seconds to giggle and laugh. My mother was furious with me when she discovered my slutty reputation at pre-school. I didn’t care.

When I was six and visiting my numerous cousins in Tennessee, one of my distant ones (who was about seven or eight) pulled me into a back room and started kissing on me and lifting up my shirt. He told me to lay down and I did as he pushed my legs open and proceeded to hump me with our Gymboree jeans on . I pointed out to him quite calmly that someone could walk in on us so he dragged me into the bathroom where he started to hump me some more. This act only intrigued me because I still didn’t know what a penis or a vagina was and how they could possibly work together. When my cousin was done with the humping act, he grabbed my hand and we played video games for the rest of my stay. He kissed me on my cheek when I left.

To quench my growing sexual appetite I found new ways to masturbate. I would slide my pussy under the faucet of the tub, finding different pressure points of water that rode me to intense orgasms. By eight, I did this action almost everyday. I looked up porn on the computer when I was ten and I believed that God had sent me a little piece of heaven. I understood how sex functioned at this point and I grew fascinated as I saw women scream and writhe in pleasure from the massive genitals of horny men. I wanted to be those women so badly.

I gave my first blow job when I was fifteen and I think that’s when I went a little crazy. It was the whole idea of power to me. While I was sucking on this man’s dick, he was in my complete and utter control, whimpering and grunting like a baby. I was amazed and addicted. When he returned the favor by finger fucking me, I almost lost my mind at what his actual penis could do to me. He even bent me over and simulated fucking me doggystyle. To my dismay, he wouldn’t go all the way because he didn’t want to ‘exhaust’ me. His mistake.

I lost my virginity when I was seventeen. Seems late for me too. Although it was scarier than I thought it would be and it hurt like nothing I had ever experienced before, the last two minutes brought a sensation all over my body that I had never felt in my entire life. I officially became dick crazy. I wanted my boyfriend at the time to fuck me like crazy two seconds after he took my virginity but he was officially lame. He just wanted me to suck his dick and watch me masturbate. I wanted to have sex.

So I moved on. My ex (who deserves numerous stories of pride and disgust) is the one who really turned me out. When he first kissed me, he proclaimed that I would be his nympho and that he was going to teach me everything he knew so that I could satisfy him the way he liked. He told me that he knew I was going to became a little freak once I got a taste of his skills and that I would never be the same again.

And he was so damn right. Look at me now! I know that I’m entering some sensitive grounds here because I’m exposing myself on a level that may be destructive but it’s all good. I’ve never felt more confident writing about something in my life. That should mean I’m on the right path. And if I’m not…oh well.