400 Hundred

My father has claimed to have slept with over 400 women.

It was my 18th birthday and instead of out partying in Tijiuana, destroying my liver and having lots of birthday sex, I was in the backyard with my father, drinking a beer (which was disgusting, by the way. I hate beer). We were sitting in lawn chairs, staring up at the midnight sky that was filled with billions and billions of little tiny stars. It reminded me of laying in the sweet smelling grass of my cousin’s backyard in Tennessee. We hadn’t talked for about a half an hour. My father and I are extremely similar in our personalities. Quiet, introverted, analytical. When we have nothing to say, we simply don’t say it. However, the night air was pregnant with heavy thoughts and he spoke first.

‘Do you think about him a lot?’
This question caught me off guard. Thinking of my ex-boyfriend, who was now rotting in jail always made me cringe a little. I mean, I still feel like it was my fault at what happened to him (which will be thoroughly explained in another entry).

‘No, not as much as I used to.’

‘Good.’
I had recently confessed that I was no longer a virgin to him. I knew that was running through his mind as he took a sip of his beer. A chunk of his cigar fell and hit the ground. And that’s when he said it and I knew exactly why:

‘You know baby, I’ve never told anyone this before but I’ve slept with over 400 hundred women.’
I glanced sharply at him. I didn’t really know what to say. It sounded ludicrous, crazy, insane and I swallowed slowly.

‘Wow,’ I murmured and he nodded his head, gazing back up at the sky again.

‘Yup. Over four hundred.’

I licked my lips thoughtfully, wanting to say something poignant but I couldn’t think of anything worthwhile. My father was a…storyteller. He claims to have seen aliens, grew up having an Andy Griffith type of existence (meaning that he believes in living simply) and drinks a little too much. But he’s not mentally unstable. He’s by far the smartest person I’ve ever met. But 400 hundred women?

Is it even possible?

Either way, my father is the most interesting man in the world. And this could explain my unusually high sex drive. Genetics.